Angel's Touch
by m4manju
Summary: Ross and Rachel have been married and had their ups and down of life. Being blessed with three kids together and Ben, this is about their youngest daughter whose arrival changed their lives forever.
1. Chapter 1

**Angel's touch**

A/N - this story is kind of written in the future. It is from Rachel's POV for a while and do not worry, Ross-Rachel are very much together. They are married and had twin boys after Emma and another baby around whom this story revolves. It does involve a specific medical condition and I have tried to take care of not hurting anyone's sentiments or offend anyone while writing about it. Well that is all you have to know before you start reading. Please let me know how you liked it.

**Rachel's POV**

20 years have passed and my heart still yearns to feel her, hear her call me "mommy", reach out to me when I return from work or give me that million dollar smile that just reassured me, I was blessed with an angel, in the form of my daughter! My youngest and most special baby, she was my Angel!

**Flashback** 25 years earlier- May 2009

It was a private room on the 6th floor in Mount Sinai hospital in NYC, which was getting rather crowded with too many people and the joy that was brought in by a new born. Yes, it was youngest baby of Mr. and Mrs. Ross Gellar. It was a baby Girl! Rachel as usual was getting emotional and could not stop her tears which were both of exhaustion and happiness. Ross who was currently holding his latest prized possession was just busy staring at his daughter and letting the feeling sunk in that he was indeed a dad of this wonderful little thing.

Out of the other guests in the room, were Leonard and Sandra, Judy and Jack, Monica and Chandler, Phoebe and Mike and Joey and Alex and pretty much everybody that should have been there with the new parents. The kids however did not get to the hospital yet and were taken care by their baby sitter at Gellar's home in Scarsdale.

"She looks so normal" Joey spoke absent mindedly as he came closer to Ross to take a look at his niece, and immediately realized what he said. Though, none seemingly took an offence, at least they pretended so.

"So, have you decided what are you going to call her?" Rachel's mother enquired.

Ross looked over to Rachel and both flashed a happy smile when they said in unison "Angel". They had decided this name months ahead of their daughter's birth. She was really an angel in every mean in their life which was seemingly falling apart for a while.

"That is such a nice name you guys." Monica chirped.

And it indeed was. Everyone present in the room knew how much this baby meant to them. After already having 3 children together and Ben, they had really gone ahead with this pregnancy and were so content holding their daughter that everyone prayed this family always stay this blessed!

However it was not as easy as it seemed. Their kids were not in terms with having a "special" child as their sibling yet, especially Emma. At the age of seven she was now in such a phase of her life where she wanted to have an opinion in everything that happened in their house. Having a sibling that would possibly be a reason of being mocked at was certainly against her opinion. A sibling that was Autistic!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N – I just realized, I mentioned it was Rachel's POV and only had first paragraph as Rachel's POV in the last chapter. I very much intend this to be her POV so will have it that way this chapter onwards. Please leave a review, it will help me know your views.

**1 Week since Angel was born and 4 days since I came home with her**

It is past midnight, almost 2 am and I am wide awake. Angel needed to be fed and then I just did not want to go back to sleep. I looked at our bed, where Ross was peacefully sleeping. His paternity leave ends tomorrow, then it will be just me to take care of Angel till the time he comes back from work everyday. Holding my daughter in my hands, I decided to take a look at my other kids.

Passing by Emma's room, my mind traveled back to the time when I was holding Emma like that. She was so tiny, so delicate and so precious. No matter how much upset she gets with me, I know she will come around and accept her sister like she accepted her brothers.

Talking about that, I peak into boys' bedroom. There they are. My two sons, who always remind me how different it is to be boy's mother. They always want a bigger share of their mother's attention. It was 6 months after I got off the plane, when I got married to Ross. It was more special because the date was in Emma's birthday week. It was truly blissful. We started our married life together on a great note and after few months we decided to try for another baby. I was in my mid thirties and soon it would get difficult to be pregnant. After trying for 3 months and no pregnancy, we got worried and had a checkup with our doctor. That was the first time; I understood Monica's pain in true sense! I was yearning for a baby, though I already had one and of course Ben, who was regular visitor at our home. Still that quest was killing me. Finally god listened to our prayers and we were expecting twins. I was overjoyed and so was Ross.

This was something incredible happening to us. He took care of my emotional up-downs, put up with my mid night cravings and took all the charge of Emma. It was like I fell in love with him all over again for all that he was doing. Eventually, our boys were born. I always wanted a boy; Ross was rooting for a girl. That is another reason; I feel Angel was an answer to his prayer. Anyway, I had already picked a name Ryan and Ross came up with Christopher which was approved by me sooner than he thought. Ryan and Chris! They filled our lives with so much happiness and excitement that we started feeling young again.

I carefully wipe a tear that has rolled down my eye, while looking at almost four years old Ryan and Chris. Ryan is a mamma's boy, always following me anywhere I go, and while Chris is much mature and always curious. He and Emma have a routine which they call Astro-Thursdays, when they both enact as if they are from some another planet, and so much other stuff, I don't follow. Jack, Mon's son calls them "the geek duo". Sure they are, like their father.

My trance is broken when I feel my baby stir in my arms, soon followed by weak wails. Oh god, what is wrong with her? A wave of panic washes over me. I just fed her so she is not hungry or thirsty. She is too young to have a nightmare. What could be the reason?

Shh baby girl, calm down. See mommy is right here. I coo to her.

No effect. In fact, she started getting more restless and crying as loud as a 7 day old could cry. I took her to the balcony adjoining kitchen. Maybe fresh air would help. But when even after 5 minutes she continued to cry, I contemplated waking Ross up. She was getting all red due to excessive crying and seeing her like that, I started crying too. What kind of a mother she got? Who could not pacify her own baby? I held her upright, against my shoulder and just then I heard a small burp sound, almost on the borderline of a hiccup. I understood it was a burp when I felt small amount of milk spilled on my shoulder. Her cries completely stopped, seized. So this was what it was about. She needed to make her burp. Another lesson to a mother of four!


	3. Chapter 3

A/N First of all, thanks a lot for all those who have left reviews, they help me a lot. Second of all, English is not my mother tongue and I might make grammatical mistakes, so sorry about that. Lastly, this concept is very close to my heart and to wave it around Ross and Rachel who happen to be one of my favorite couples, means a lot to me. So, do leave your reviews to let me know what you think of this story in general and this chapter.

**Angel's first Birthday - part 1 (Rachel's POV contd.)**

I am nervous about tomorrow. My baby's first birthday! I want everything to be perfect for her, the way she made it for me and Ross.

Two years back, before Angel was conceived, I and Ross had hit a rough patch in our marriage. There was no particular reason to pinpoint, but the effect it had on us was too hard to ignore. In the initial days, I thought it was one of our usual fights, the way we used to make mountain out of a molehill and did not do much to talk about it. We would leave too much on our destiny to solve it for us. However we did not have this phase since "I got off the plane". Yes, we had minor conflicts and disagreements like a normal couple but none was this serious. We had this uncomfortable silence between us that nobody knew how to break. That time Emma was in primary school and Ryan and Chris almost ready to start theirs. Most of my time was consumed by my job at D & G (Dolce and Gubbana) and kids, while Ross would stay occupied with his work on that research paper he intended to publish. We almost forgot that we needed each others time too and it was so hard to go on like that. Our kids and jobs consumed so much of us that we hardly tried to acknowledge each other. Now I think of it and I know we were just struggling to tackle the situation in our own way but did not know how to come out of it. A certain "D" word started to bang on my mind, those papers he got me to sign few years ago started to dance in front of my eyes. I got terrified to even imagine going through it now. Something was telling me to hold on and I was sure even Ross would not want to face it for the fourth time in his life!

In between all this, came the news of Amy's marriage. I had almost forgotten that both my sisters were still unmarried until I got a call from her. She met this guy at Daddy's office (duh-uh) and from what she told, he seemed very decent. The only issue was, wedding was at Napa Valley, California (A/N – if you are still unmarried, think of this place as a potential marriage location! It's worth it). Chris had just recovered from chickenpox and Emma was not ready to take leaves from school. Ultimately it was decided that I and Ross would attend the wedding and Ryan would come along while Monica will take care of Emma and Chris. I was not very sure about attending this wedding, leaving behind my baby who was still recovering from pox. However Monica insisted that I and Ross needed some time alone and we could use this as an opportunity. Little did she know about the turmoil I was facing in my marriage. I wish I could thank her enough for making me attend that wedding and thank Amy enough for getting married at that beautiful location. We literally forgot the reason why we were not on talking terms (there was no real reason to begin with, but anyway). Call it the magic of the serene site or the happy vibes around us, our relationship got a revival and how! In that one week, we had countless moments (Yes the ones Phoebs keeps teasing me about), our own "eye contacts" and boy, did our eyes speak volumes? When we were helping daddy in supervising the final arrangements, when we were getting Ryan ready for rehearsal dinner, when we saw Amy and Tyler (her then fiancé) take their marriage vows, we re-realized something that was never really gone. And that was our love for each other, our love which made us " _US_ ", a unit! We had blissful time after that, even after we returned from the wedding. My friends kept teasing me on how I was glowing since I attended the wedding. It made me blush a little more and feel my eyes watering. Lately I was doing a lot of that, getting all emotional. Not that I was not emotional one to start with. oh well.

A few weeks later, I found out I was pregnant. It was unexpected but I felt happy. The feeling of being a mother again itself was so overwhelming that I almost forgot, my husband was still unaware about this impending happiness that was ready to enter our home. I was unsure about Ross's reaction. After Chris and Ryan, we decided not to have any more children. It made us plan better financially as well as parenting-wise. But now that this had happened, and I already got involved with it, I wanted Ross to accept it too.

Finally that night, I gathered enough courage to tell him about it. I had just taken evening shower, and Ross was already on the bed, reading! I walked unto him, he did not notice. I kept my left hand on his shoulder to pull his attention.

"Hey you" he cooed.

"Ross, I have something to tell you."

He smiled mischievously and said "don't tell me you are pregnant"

I had very little to answer to that. So I just took his hand and kept it on my abdomen, where our little Angel was supposed to be.

"What if I say, I am"

He just kept looking at me. It was very different from the freeze moment he had seven years ago, Emma's time. Now, he just locked his gaze with me, trying to tell me something, ask me something, and convey something. And then he leaned forward and gave me a most passionate kiss which was borderline of being surreal. No more talking needed. I got my answers, he got his!

Appointment with Dr. Long proved that I was eight weeks along. We were surprised and really happy. However we decided not to break the news till I complete first three months. As they say, pregnancy in late thirties is always risky.

Few days later, I was sitting in the cabin of obstetrician; she was checking my latest sonogram.

"Why is your husband not with you today?" she asked.

"Oh, he wanted to, but he had something unavoidable coming up at work and so he could not." I tell the truth. I was missing Ross myself, but something in her voice got me more worried.

"Can you visit me tomorrow along with your husband again? I need to talk him too." I nodded and came out of the room.

The whole day and next morning, I was freaking out. I was really worried what it could be and so was Ross. We thought of different possibilities. Maybe it was twins again, or triplets? Oh my god that would be one hell of a test of our parenthood. However the next day got us a news that changed our lives forever.

"Ross, Rachel, you need to have patience and faith on me and our medical science when I say this. I studied you last month's sonogram and the latest ones and I think there is something abnormal with your baby's growth. There are chances of this baby being physically disabled and even have other complications at the time of birth. If my knowledge is enough, I can say the chances of this baby's survival are less in any case. So I would suggest you to terminate this pregnancy"

There, she said it. in one minute my world turned upside down. I felt like someone poured hot liquid iron in my ears. Terminate the pregnancy? Kill my baby? No, I would never do that. I turned to Ross. He was numb, tears flowing through his eyes continuously. The doctor left us alone to discuss. I had to know what Ross think. I had to know if he stood beside me to have the baby even if its chances of survival were 1%!


	4. Chapter 4

**Angel turns one – part 2**

 _Precap – Ross and Rachel are expecting for the third time and their doctor just told them that the baby would have abnormalities and a short life. They are advised to terminate the pregnancy._

Rachel's POV contd.

We reached home in utter silence. I mechanically served the dinner, and later he made the kids ready for bed. As if our minds were frozen in that moment. Doctor's words were echoing in my eardrums "terminate the pregnancy"

"NO" I shouted.

He was only entering our bedroom that moment. I was sitting on the bed, resting my head against the headboard. He walked to me so slowly and cautiously as if I were some dream and he expected to be woken up from it. Of course I expected this to be a dream myself; a sarcastic dream destiny put us to have.

"What are you thinking?" he asked me. I am sure he knew the answer better than me at the moment. I was too numb to say a word, so he continued after a long pause.

"Rach, I know how much you want this baby, and trust me I feel the same. But honey we cannot take this decision especially when the situation of our baby is so difficult" he was carefully selecting each word, I knew. I let him continue.

"It is natural that we are partial towards the baby as its parents, but what about our family? Are they ready to accept it, welcome it? What will they do when they know this happiness be short lived? And what will we tell them? That 'this baby is here only for some time so do not get involved with her too much'?" I shot up my head at that. He continued.

"And what about the baby itself? Will it not ask us, why we put it in so much agony, so much pain when we knew beforehand what was there on her plate?"

He was right, no denying that.

I leaned into him, embracing him, and letting him embrace me securely. It was implied that I agreed to whatever he said. The unspoken word was "abortion". It pierced my mind like a sharp needle and I draped my hands against my belly. At least I could caress her for a night!

Next morning, Monica made a surprise visit to us. She had Phoebe along with her. Apparently Phoebe had some psyche feeling that I needed them. She could not have been more right in her entire life!

My puffy, red, bloodshot eyes gave everything away and eventually I told them everything.

"Look Rachel, I know right now I should be backing up your decision about terminating the pregnancy (she winced at this), and it is really not my space to judge you guys, but as a sister I am gonna do that" that was Monica, no guesses there.

"I do not think that this baby will put us in any agony or sadness but will spread only happiness as any child does. I am going to be optimistic and think that this baby lives a perfectly healthy life. Then what? On the other hand, the baby will love you Rach and will only be thankful to you and Ross for all the love and warmth it is going to receive. Do not end that possibility this way"

"Totally and what if your baby is going to be a path breaking singer, or or a social activist who stops the world from getting destroyed? Are you going to deny the world a chance like that?" now that was Phoebes, totally on with her irrational thoughts. I was again thrown away in sheer confusion.

Two days went like that, I was still unsure about what to do? Ross too did not try to open that subject. Everything seemed normal again, only the truth contradicted that.

That same night, Ross had put Discovery channel on TV and I was watching it just out of habit now. An interesting documentary was on. It was shot somewhere deep in a forest. A tigress was shown to be eyeing her prey, a monkey who happened to be a female and a nursing mother. Tigress did not notice that and aimed at the monkey's throat, immediately killing it. Moments later, she noticed the terrified infant monkey that was still hugging its mother. Deep in grief, that tigress started to come closer to the baby monkey, to hold it. However it kept getting more horrified and running. Day turned to night; tigress kept trying to pacify it, leaving her hunt abandoned but the baby monkey would not come near to her. The baby died eventually out of hunger and cold, but the tigress showed utmost lever of motherhood.

The video ended with that voice over, and me and Ross still kept staring at the TV for a brief moment. We knew we had made the decision! If the tigress did not give up on somebody else's child till the very end, why were we getting so chickened up? (A/N - the video is true and available on YT, you can search for it.)

We continued with the pregnancy and much to our doctor's dismay had her. Two years have passed since that day. We kept praying for our baby's health. It was as it was prognosticated, she was autistic. We had prepared ourselves though. And now, she is one! My most special baby is a year old!

She proved that she was worth all the pain, the mental trauma. Her smile was so captivating, and most importantly, she had a gem of a heart. She was already so loving, so caring about all of us that it just made me overwhelmed to be her mother!

By this time, we had moved to Scarsdale in a good neighborhood. We arranged the birthday party in the backyard of our house. Perks of staying in a standalone home! I had dolled up Angel in a lavender color dress and let her curly hair be. She was gifted with soft, thick hair. I could spend my whole day just waving my fingers through them. No one in my home had curly hair, at least to my knowledge. Perhaps someone from Ross's side did. Her eyes were clearly mine though. Not only by their color or shape but also the fact that we communicated with them. And then her skin, so soft, so milky. I could keep talking about her features and never get tired. Ross's call to cut the cake woke me up from my reverie.

All were there, the Bings, the Hannigans, the Tribianis, my parents, Ross's parents and our kids. All were cheering for Angel. She was just relaxing in my arms though, giggling with all the love she was getting. By now, she knew she was the center of attention today.

My eyes traveled to Emma. She was deliberately standing many feet away from us. She had not said a single word to me the entire evening and now she was giving me a cold stare. My goodness, when did my little Emma grew up this much and this way? We certainly did not teach her that. I knew the reason behind her anxiety. She still had tough time around Angel, though I wanted her to accept Angel like Ryan and Chris did, like everyone else did. Another wish I had that night, apart from my kids' health.

A/N – I am planning to wind this story up in next two parts, max. three. Let me know your views on the chapters till now. Sucked, did they?


	5. Author's note

Today, something wonderful happened to me. When I was almost skeptical about the acceptance of this story's idea, I got a review which got me enthralled.  
In fact, I am flattered will be an understatement. To see someone getting connected to my story so much that he/she took time out of their day to write future part of it, makes me nothing short of elated.  
Like I confessed to one of my friends here, I feel Angel's touch needed a more mature writer and not an amateur one like me. Nonetheless I started with it, as I spend most of my day day-dreaming about Ross-Rach and their lives in different worlds.  
Also, this story is vaguely based on India's Oscar entry movie in the nineties, named "Anjali". I had seen it sometime later on TV and it got a special place in my heart since then. However Angels' touch also has many other facets of my imagination and my encounters with Autistic people and then their families.  
This leads me to my motive behind this note, I am ready to make this story open to be written by different people with their POVs, in fact would love to read that. I will end my story as I planned in next 3 chapters. However, anyone who wishes to post a different version of it, more than welcome :)  
Will look forward to your responses! Cheers!


	6. Chapter 5

Hello folks. Thanks to all those who are reading this story and reviewing it. I know I am probably unable to give enough justice to the concept than it demands, but I am trying.

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Rachel's POV continued

A week passed since Angie's first birthday. I and Ross had got our working hours adjusted so that either of us would always be around her throughout the day. Generally he would work in the first half of the day and I would work in second. That day however, he had to attend some esteemed foreign guests in the university so he went in the afternoon slot. By the time I reached home, he was already at the door, ready to leave.

Angie's room was just adjacent to our bedroom. It was like an extension to it, originally meant for some extra privacy needed at times. Before Angie, Ross wanted to turn it to a library, but I immediately condemned that idea. I peeked into her room and saw her peacefully sleeping. She had a light smile playing on her lips, I wondered what was she dreaming about? Was I a part of her dreams?

I changed into more comfortable clothes and went to the kitchen to get some coffee. I stopped right at the entrance when I saw Emma doing something near the microwave oven. I panicked as I had never let her be near around any of those gadgets, she was barely eight years old.

"Em, what are you doing here?"

She dropped a spatula, seemingly startled by my sudden appearance.

"Mom, uh I was actually hungry and dad wasn't around so I am trying to make uh pancakes"

Oh my God, when did my daughter grow so big that she started with cooking and why did not she come to me when she was hungry? She was dependent on me for food for almost 2 years of her life and even most of the time after that.

I watched her silently leave the kitchen after she set the microwave for 30 minutes time.

I decided it was right time to talk to her, so I followed her to her room with determination. She was lying on her bed, turned on one side and one arm folded in such a way that it rested below her cheek. Same way as Angel sleeps!

I went and lied down besides her. She noticed me and turned to rest on her back, staring at the sealing. I slip my hand on her stomach to cuddle her, only to see her shake it off.

"What's wrong Em?"

Silence

"Honey, you know I cannot bear this silence between us. Please tell mommy so that she can do something."

"Really? Can you get that crazy doll away from me?"

First I could not think which doll Emma was referring to. Then it hit me, she was calling Angel that, though I found her calling Doll as cute, the adjective bugged me big-time.

"You really think so honey? Do you think keeping her away from us will make you happy? She is your sister Em, and She loves you. You know when we take her to your room every night for goodnight kiss, she almost fights to be away from my arms to be with you. On her birthday party, when all of you kids were playing and you hit the ground accidentally. She started crying almost immediately and did not stop until dad made you quiet. She wants to share your happiness and pain Em. Why don't you give her a chance before you decide something?"

I again tried to pull her to me and this time she hugged me back. I could see my words touching her and she giving it a thought. I continued still.

"You are my sweetest and most brave baby Em, cause you know you were my first family even when your dad was away from me. I and your dad are so proud of you honey. And the Em I know is a girl with kind heart, who would make us drive to Uncle Joey every weekend because she thought he had no family, the Em who would take extra care of her school friend who did not have his mommy around and the Em who is so protective of her family that no one can harm them. Angel is your family too Emma. Please giver her a chance.?"

I almost questioned her. She stayed silent. Just when I thought she was about to say something, microwave buzzer went ON to tell us pancakes were ready. She pulled out of embrace and left the room. I laid there, tired with the conversation I just had, and worried what if it went useless to change Emma's mind. Just then I heard a shriek. I ran towards the hallway, and the scene left me awestruck.

Emma was hugging Angie so tightly and had horrified look on her face. I was about to ask, when I saw Ryan also there, some distance away, looking at something horrified. I looked in that direction, and saw a rather big spider slowly crawling towards the wall. I immediately guessed why my kids were so horrified. A quality (or should I say irrational fear?) they inherited from Ross. I still wanted to know what exactly happened and the reason of my eldest hugging my youngest whom she almost wanted to be kept away forever.

"Can anybody tell me what happened? Why did you scream Em?"

Emma did not answer, did not move even. She was tightly clutching Angie. So Chris answered me.

"Mommy, we were playing with Angie, when this spider came from somewhere. It was so near to Angie and we were so afraid. I wanted to help Angie, but I was so afraid Mommy." Chris told me, his eyes big with all the excitement from the incident. I let him continue. "Just then, Em came and pulled Angie away from there."

Now I got it, what must have happened. My both little demons were back from school and must have managed to get Angel out of her crib and were playing with her on the floor. When they located spider, they jumped away. I could not expect my three year old's to be some heroes at that age. So when Emma came and saw the whole scene, her reflex action was to get HER little sister away from the danger. Even if she herself was afraid of spiders, she cared for Angel. And that's all was needed to satisfy my anxious heart, she CARED!

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Constructive criticism is more welcome than a royal ignorance (silent readers pls leave a review) :P


	7. Chapter 6

A/N 1 - Thank you 'Ross Geller' for beta reading this one!

A/N 2 - update of 'Before you walked in' coming soon...for those who were asking :P

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Rachel's POV contd. from last chapter -

Time passed by even faster than I imagined and now Angie was three years old. Emma and my two boys took really good care of her. For some time I almost forgot Angel was a special child or needed special attention. Everything was that normal.

Ross was slowly climbing the ladder of success in his career and I was going through the same in mine. His name was appearing in many science magazines, his papers getting published in several journals and he was invited as a guest lecturer to many reputed universities. He was on the judging panel for science Olympiad this year and we all went there with him. Ryan and Chris were rooting for the road trip with our new Porsche, and eventually we gave in. Once we reached there, Ross was completely busy with his colleagues and people from his world that lived and loved science! Even Emma was so smitten by the overall atmosphere there which left me in no doubt that she will be following her father's footsteps. Angel was however cranky all the time, and it was something so unusual for my baby. I noticed her breathing would get shallow during her naps and even during nights. I started getting panicked but Ross was too busy to notice it or maybe because he was with us only for few hours in the night to notice anything. I could have taken her to some local physician but then again that doctor would not know her case history. Also, shallow breathing was not new with her as she was born with weak lungs.

After we came back home, we immediately took her to her pediatrician.

"How is my cutest patient?" Dr. Shepherd (A/N yup Grey's anatomy fame) asked Angel. She replied with her best cute smile.

"Our regular appointment is one week later. So what brings you here Mr. and Mrs. Geller?"

That was directed to us, to which I replied.

"Actually we were out of town last week, and since on the trip, Angel is been really sick. She would not even eat her favorite food, would not have her favorite juice or chocolate milk and her breathing, I mean while breathing she is, she can't (I stammered, and choked as I was on the verge of crying)" Ross completed the rest of the sentence.

"Doctor, Angel never had trouble in sleeping but since last week, she wakes up several times in her sleep, complaining about being thirsty, and then would not even drink two sips. Even her breathing is with a noise."

Dr. Shepherd went silent for a brief moment. My heart was already going erratic with all the tension and thinking what he had to say.

"You should have consulted me before planning on a road trip with her, Mr. Geller."

There, he confirmed we were the culprits. We were the reason our daughter was in pain right now.

"Why do you say that doctor?" Ross asked.

"Because she is born with congenital heart and lung problems. I don't think I need to remind you that." His tone was obviously blaming. He continued.

"Exposure to different atmosphere could be dangerous to her. Even pollutants are different when you travel from one city to other these days. You never know what could cause harm, especially when your child is so naive to all this."

His words were like hearing a death sentence to me. In last few months I and Ross completely forgot that our youngest child was not as strong as our other children. She needed special care, special attention and we failed there.

Probably to console me, looking at my devastated face, Dr. Shepherd changed his tune.

"Mrs. Geller I have known both of you over the years and have seen how great you have been with her. It is just we have to be extra careful if we want her to live a long, healthy life. We will run few tests and a chest scan just to be sure everything is normal, and please don't panic; your child will be safe. Just try to not leave the city or at least not take her with you anywhere else. We never know what kind of atmosphere would harm her."

* * *

After that day however, I tried to make time for her as much as possible. I knew raising a child with autism is a constant challenge and its mother has to be a constant pillar of support both emotionally as well as physically for the baby. Of course Ross was equally devoted to all his children which made it easier to tackle my less attention towards them.

I did not know what I was doing in the office, and if I concentrated at all, but judging my boss's reactions and appreciations, I guess I was unconsciously managing my work well.

* * *

Soon it was the month of November. Another year was about to end. Everyone was gearing up for Christmas and the new years' and of course we were preparing for Hanukkah as well. I went to work as a regular day that day, when I got another challenging situation to face.

"Rachel, Mr. Peterson has called you in the meeting room 622." Maria informed me. Mr. Peterson was our area lead and was on a visit to our office that week.

I saw my boss, Kate, and Mr. Peterson already seated.

"Hello Mr. Peterson."

"Hello Rachel. I must I am impressed with the way you manage your work and the new team we handed to you last year. So I am sure you will do full justice to this new post."

Wait a minute, new post? Looking at my puzzled face, Kate, my boss said,

"Rachel, we are having difficult time at our office in Chicago, as you know. So we were thinking to ask you if you would like to take over the post of office-lead there."

I still did not say anything. What should I say? This was unexpected. Here I thought I might get fired soon because of working so flexibly and here they offered me a promotion? A lucrative one at that?

Judging my silence as a hint of negotiation, Mr. Peterson offered, "In case we did not made it clear, this post will give you 20% salary hike."

I came home and was utterly confused. How was I going to tell Ross? What would we do? What about kids? What about Angel? We were not supposed to leave New York for her sake.

It did not end there though. When Ross got home that evening,

"You will never guess what happened today." He greeted me with a kiss, more lingering one than usual.

"What?" I was still in the trance of that kiss. Seriously, nothing like being in the arms of your love, and when that love is your husband, life is heaven!

"I got a permanent job offer from university of Chicago with a 30% salary hike!"

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A/N 3 - so parenting is complicated eh? What would they do? Relocate and take risk with Angel or give up on incredible career opportunity?

Story getting wrapped in next chapter, most likely :) leave reviews, silent readers..


	8. Chapter 8

So I finally decided to write this much needed next chapter. I had promised myself that I would not let this one story be incomplete and i dint want to write it just for the sake of it. So the delay. I tried to not make it seem rushed and tried to capture their emotions, hope i did justice to this story & all my readers.

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'Why are you thinking so much? People would die to get such an incredible job opportunity.' That was Kate, trying to convince me to accept the new job offer and move to Chicago. She knew about Angel but not well enough that Angel's health as main reason I was so skeptical about taking this offer.

I asked for some time to think about it. They gave me two days! In two days, I had to decide whether I would take risk with my daughter's health or whether I let my career take a back seat..

Ross had already told me that he was going to reject the offer that was given to him. His seniors would have ridiculed him; probably someone else would get that job, but he did not care. That was Ross, always knowing his priorities right...or so I thought.

We both had free afternoon the other day. We decided to talk to Monica and chandler about this whole new challenge.

'hmm so by some crazy game of fate both of you got a dream hike and in the same state. Wow, seems too perfect to be true' that was chandler

'why are you so afraid guys? I am sure there are good pediatricians in Chicago as well.' Said Monica, handing us a much needed glass of coffee

'it's not that easy Mon. Don't you remember what Dr. Shepherd told me last week? If we ever leave this city, it could harm Angel. She might have problems getting accustomed to a new atmosphere. It would be like jeopardizing with her health.' I felt my eyes already watering as I said that.

'That's why i am saying, we are not moving anywhere. End of discussion.' Ross said getting all panicked half with my tears and half with the fear of something happening to his child.

However Monica was the most practical of us all, said something that seemed to make sense.

'Stop being crazy Ross. Angel is perfectly fine and nothing's happening to her.' Then she turned to me, 'Rach, I understand your fears being a mother, but don't you think we need to take decisions bravely here and not by emotions?'

'What do you mean?' I asked

'See, you said it yourself that doctors have warned something might happen. Not that it will happen necessarily. And this job is going to be in a city where you have access to good doctors again not like you are moving to a jungle or something. Plus more money that's going to be assured to both of you gives that assurance too.'

We both looked at each other. Her talk seemed to make sense. Maybe we were freaking out without much reason.

The next day we both had decided that we will say 'yes' to our respective bosses and accept to take the new positions in Chicago. Our seniors were obviously happy when we did that.

The only difficult part was to talk to Dr. Shepherd as it was necessary to tell him as he knew case history of Angel since she was a baby. As expected he was not too happy when we broke the news. I felt I saw a little trace of anger in his eyes probably he thought we were being too selfish...or were we?

Finally the day arrived and we were all set to leave. We had a house already made ready for us to move in and our household stuff was already shipped. Everyone came to the airport to wish us 'goodbye's and 'happy new life's. Angel along with her siblings seemed to be happy and excited about this new place. Ross had showed them images on the internet about the city, their new school, our house. Luckily they were still in that age where relocating and adjusting to new social life was easy for them. So except I and Ross, everyone was happy and cheerful for this journey. Little did anyone know we had our fingers crossed the entire time.

First week went by smoothly. We were really busy making all the arrangements, kids were getting used to the new nanny, new school, Ross and I to our new workplaces. Angel seemed fine too so we were relaxed a bit. One thing I learned that as we grow up, our abilities to fall into a new routine get lower and lower. I had to force myself to get used to calling this new place home. Thankfully kids got easily used to it and already started making friends.

It was one month after we shifted to Chicago. I had new assignments at work so i could spend little time at home. Ross used to complain but i never remember Angel fussing over it a bit. She was just too sweet as a child as one could ever get. One day, I came early from work. My other three kids were still at school while Angel was with this new nanny, Lisa. I went straight to Angel's room; she was playing with a toy. I located Lisa talking on her cell phone near the window. She was so engrossed in the conversation that she did not notice me there.

I rolled my eyes at Lisa (who did not notice it too) and went near my baby. She smiled seeing me and tried to say "mom". She had still not learn to say whole words. Being the special child she was, doctors already told her, her progress with spoken language would be slow. I was dying to hear her call me "mommy" soon. Her coughing caught my attention. i did not remember she had cold the last evening. By that time Lisa had ended her call and came by my side.

"hello Mrs. Gellar. I did not see you coming" her tone was showing she was embarrassed. I did not show my anger at that point anyway though. I needed to ask her about my baby's health

"It's ok Lisa. Tell me one thing did you see Angie coughing today?"

"no, she was alright. She ate her lunch, took nap and is up only since last half an hour."

"Ok. I am home now so you can leave."

Was I turning to be careless mother lately? Was Dr. Shepherd right in his judgement?

A week passed by and one day I received a call from a very frightened Lisa.

"Mrs. Gellar, could you please come home as soon as possible? Angel is not too well."

Only I know how I traveled that twenty five minutes drive home. Every second not seeing her, felt like ages and slow death to me.

Ross also had reached home by then. Apparently Angel nearly fell unconscious and her breathing was too shallow. We immediately took her to the hospital. Early diagnosis confirmed that her lungs were retaining water and were getting weak. Doctor treating her told us, if we realized this a week earlier, we could have treated her more early. I cursed myself for ignoring her coughing that day when I came home early. I could not blame Lisa for not pointing it out. After all she was just a caretaker, I was a mother!

I decided to take her to New York, to doctor Shepherd as soon as she was allowed to travel. Monica could watch her for a few weeks and either Ross or I could try to get a transfer back. I had to think about Emma and our twin sons' future too. Their school was going on and shifting in between would have hampered, especially Emma. We would shift back to New York as soon as this academic year for them ended.

We worked that plan but Angel just did not become her earlier cheerful best. Sometimes I used to think that I should leave my job and just be with my child. She needed her parents. While I pondered on that thought, Ross already asked for a sabbatical and got approved. This compelled me to stay back in Chicago with Emma and the twins.

Six months passed like that. Now only one month and we were officially going back! We would finally move back to our city, our Angel. If only it was that simple!

When Ross's parents agreed to stay with us in Chicago for a weekend so Emma and twins could stay with them, I could spend it with Angel. It was saddening how pale and weak she was getting since last few months. I could not help but blame myself for it. Yet the sight of her one smile had power to brighten my whole world!

That Saturday night I was sleeping with her wrapped in my arms. It was so peaceful to cuddle with her and sleep. A noisy breathing woke me up in the midnight along with constant chants of "ma"s. At first i thought i was dreaming. She called me ma? A mother? As HER mother? But then realization stuck in. My daughter finally addressed me as a mother but was sick at the same time. I could not decide whether I had sad tears or happy ones!

Doctor Shepherd readily answered our call that night and attended her in the hospital. We all kept praying and doctors did all they could but ...she did not make it...my daughter could not survive. I lost her! Three words most dreadful to me even today. She called me "ma" and loved me so much and all I could do was watch her give up on her life..

The days after that were lifeless for me and Ross. It was most difficult time..thoughts of how I lost my baby would haunt me. I had seen her coming to this world, seeing her go away was not fair! This was not how it was supposed to happen.

Today after 25 years of that day, I still miss her equally. Her place in my heart is still the same, her feeling around me, her voice calling me 'ma' echoes in my ears. As much proud I am of Emma who is working as an aeronautical engineer, Chris who works as a physics professor and my sweetheart Ryan who followed sports and became a soccer player, I feel equally proud of my fourth and most special child. She had a small life but her touch in our lives filled it with lots of love, pure and blissful love!

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Please leave reviews and let me know your thoughts. I wanted to consider alternate ending too, let's see. I will update 'before you walked in' by next week.


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